Kids embrace giving, not getting
December 20, 2006
By Suzanne Bohan
 FOUR-YEAR-OLD
Samantha Reda stands near the 84 pairs of shoes that she collected
to send with her grandparents to needy children of Tanzania for
Christmas.
SAMANTHA REDA, 4, adores shoes. So
when she watched a video this fall of children at an orphanage in
Tanzania with nothing to wear on their feet, it didn't seem right.
"That really kind of sparked her,"
said Daniel Reda, her father. "She loves shoes so much that she
wanted to share with them. It really came out of her heart."
For Christmas, instead of presents,
Samantha asked for people to donate a pair of children's shoes to
her cause. At the end of her drive last week, she'd collected 84
pairs. And there are more waiting for her in Toronto, where she's
spending the holidays. Her grandparents live there and they ran
their own children's shoe drive to add to Samantha's collection.
Samantha is an example of what can
happen when you teach children to give, not just get — an important
lesson in today's society, said Jon Gallo, co-author of "The
Financially Intelligent Parent: 8 Steps To Raising Successful,
Generous, Responsible Children."
"It helps children learn there are
things that you can do with money that doesn't involve spending it
on yourself," Gallo explained. "We live in a consumer-driven society
and advertising does a very good job of teaching children that their
self-worth and their popularity depends in large measure on the type
of jeans they wear or the brand of computer they own."
It was the home-schooling Samantha
gets that provided her with an opportunity to turn her newly-kindled
passion into a school project, pointed out her mother, Alexandria
Carmichael. Samantha went to the library to learn more about Africa
(geography lesson) and about poverty (social sciences lesson). She
learned to ask people to donate shoes (speech communications
lesson). She's counted and kept a bar chart tallying her donations
(mathematics lesson).
"It's a tremendous educational
opportunity," said Carmichael.
Samantha collected an estimated
$1,600 in shoes for boys and girls, sized for toddlers to teens,
said Reda.
Her grandparents plan to fly to
Africa with the entire collection this summer to deliver the shoes
to the Amani orphanage in Tanzania, making Samantha's wish a
reality.
Reda said he and his wife buy very
few gifts and have tried to set that example for their children. "We
had a revelation three or four years ago (about Christmas)," he
said.
"We said 'we've had it. There's
just too much consumerism,'" he recalled. Since then, the family has
generally given donations in lieu of gifts, although Samantha has
her prized drawing collection and other favorite toys.
"We don't think she's feeling
deprived," he added. "She wants our attention, she doesn't want
toys."
George Calderon, 9, was living in a
garage in Menlo Park a few years ago, along with his mother and two
sisters. The Rotary Club of Woodside/Portola Valley took the family
members under its wing to lift them from their plight.
Yet despite his impoverished
background, one day this fall, George told members of the group that
he wanted to get presents for homeless children and those living in
foster homes.
One of the club members, Joan
Fuetsch, gave George $100 to buy as many toys as possible. She and
other members were so impressed with how well he spent the money
that they contributed $205 more to his quest.
On Tuesday, George jumped aboard a
decorated fire engine in Redwood City, accompanied by Santa Claus
and firefighters, to distribute to some 30 Redwood City families his
bounty of Christmas gifts and other donated toys.
George, who now lives in Fremont in
a home his mother bought along with his new stepfather, doesn't want
many toys this Christmas.
"I don't need them," George said.
When children take on remarkably
active roles in leading fundraising efforts, they're often — not
surprisingly — adopting behaviors shown by their parents, Gallo
said.
"Parents need to be a role model,"
Gallo said. Parents can start, he added, by not only donating and
volunteering, but by early on encouraging their children to give
away unused toys or clothing.
Gallo cautioned, however, that it's
a mistake to pressure children, including teens, into donating money
or goods or into volunteering.
"Forcing them is
counterproductive," he said. "If they grow up in a family that was
involved in charitable giving, they'll come back to it later on."
Ultimately, he added, it's normal
for children to pull back for a time from steady involvement in
charitable drives.
"I don't think this grows little
saints," he said. "I think it grows people who see that money can be
used to help people as well as help themselves. And that perspective
stays with them all their lives."
Contact Suzanne Bohan at (650)
348-4324 or sbohan@angnewspapers.com.
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