| Education News.org
Parents, Mind Your Own Business
Tuesday, August 1, 2006
By Bernard Gassaway
“School business is for
educators, not parents. Parents need to focus more on raising their
children than getting too involved in what goes on in schools.”
As harsh as this may sound, this is
an expressed sentiment among many educators across this country in
both public and private school systems. I have heard this from
colleagues, and I have experienced it as a parent.
Disconnected, Disrespect and
Dismissed
Parents, in overwhelming numbers, you
have expressed feeling disconnected, disrespected and dismissed by
New York City Department of Education (DOE) officials. This happens
for numerous reasons.
DOE officials rely on your lack of
unity. Time and time again they see how easy it is to manipulate
you. They spread rumors to weaken any bonds that may exist among
you. They infiltrate your organizations. They make under the table
deals with individuals and community-based organizations to
influence your decisions and actions. Since they do not respect you,
they will use anyone, even your children, to get their way --- A way
that is often not in the best interest of your children.
DOE officials rely on your lack of
stamina. They are practically immune to the occasional protests held
at City Hall or DOE headquarters. Once the protest is over, they
expect you to disperse and go away. An effective protest should last
as long as necessary to achieve its goal. If officials are not
inconvenienced in any measurable way, they do not care if you
protest.
DOE officials rely on your blind
faith. You turn your child over to them for approximately two
hundred days a year, six hours a day. Yet, you spend less than two
hours in the school all year. You believe in their evaluation of
your child, in most cases without question. You know very little
about the counselors, teachers and administrators, who are
responsible for your child's physical and mental well-being.
DOE officials rely on your fear. You
fear their dominance and deprecation. You fear their retribution and
retaliation. You fear their arrogance and authority. They serve as
judge, jury and executioner. You and your child are at their mercy.
DOE officials rely on your lack of
options. They readily dismiss you because you have limited options.
Private school is not an option for many. They realize the majority
of families whose children attend public school fall below the
poverty line and can barely afford to pay for living expenses, let
alone pay for an education.
Strategies for Effective
Engagement with School Officials
1. Listen. Tune in to what your child
says about the quality of his teachers. Children are often accurate.
Schools that serve poor, Latino and Black children have a
disproportionate number of unqualified teachers. If your child has
unqualified teachers, fight to have his classes or school changed.
Your engagement with school officials begins with your child.
2. Praise, honor and support good
teachers. Tell and show them how much you appreciate what they are
doing for your child.
3. Seek support. Do not suffer in
silence. Find other parents who have experienced what you are going
through. They may be able to help you resolve your issues.
3. Plan for meetings with school
personnel. Never meet with them alone. Bring people, your pastor,
friends, and family members. There is strength in numbers.
4. Deliberate. Take a reasonable
amount of time to think about any school-related decisions. Do not
allow school officials to pressure you into making rash decisions.
Confer with family, clergy or parent/child advocates.
5. Attend and participate in
school-related activities. Share your opinion. Volunteer. The staff
should know you as a concerned and involved parent. When they know
and respect you, they are more likely to know and respect your
child. Likewise, when your child knows you are involved, he is more
likely to behave and perform well.
Things You Should Expect from
the School System:
1. Request a copy of your child's
school records. You have a right to any material in her official
file. This is extremely important. You need to know what is being
documented about your child – and in some cases what may be said
about you, as a parent. Read the contents of the file with your
child.
2. Visit your child's class during
school hours. Give at least one days notice. You must avoid
disruption. You should not attempt to speak with the teacher during
this visit. Ask for a tour of the school. Your purpose is to observe
the lesson, class and school climate.
3. Schedule appointments to meet with
your child's teachers. Do not wait until the bi-annual
parent-teacher conferences. Prepare specific questions before the
meeting. Meetings may be scheduled for after regular school hours.
This may allow for meaningful discussions and fewer interruptions.
4. Volunteer to work in the parent
office. Each school should have at least one office dedicated to
parents. Parent friendly schools will have Parent Reception or
Resource Centers that are accessible during and after the regular
school day.
5. Ensure school personnel are able
to contact you. It is your responsibility to inform them when your
contact information changes. You should not place this
responsibility on your child.
6. Meet with appropriate school
personnel to deal with concerns. Decide if it is necessary to meet
the principal in order to get your matter resolved. Though the
principal should be accessible to parents, it may not be possible to
meet her immediately. You may expedite the resolution if you target
the person who will ultimately be able to help you directly.
7. Attend workshops for parents.
Parent friendly schools offer them regularly. These may include:
Computer training, reading, writing, math, music, art, and others.
8. Attend school assembly programs
that honor children. You may need to take a day or a few hours off
from work. Programs may also be held on weekends and evenings. You
should attend with your child even if she is not being honored. It
may serve as a motivation for you and her while simultaneously
showing support for other children and families.
Parents, Know Your Business
1. Meet with your child at the
beginning of each school year. Discuss what he is expected to learn
in and out of school.
2. Monitor your child's development.
Do not rely on school tests to define your child's level of
intelligence. Focus on whether he is acquiring life skills? How
would he respond to unanticipated occurrences? Do you see and hear
him thinking?
3. Seek help for your child through
local libraries, community organizations, churches and
non-traditional institutions. Consider peer tutoring as an option.
It is an overlooked effective strategy.
4. Schedule meaningful activities for
your child. These may include family trips to the park, museum,
library, neighborhood walks, and volunteering at a local food pantry
or shelter. Idle time for an active child is asking for trouble.
Keep your child busy. Keep him physically, mentally and culturally
engaged.
5. Stay active in your child's life.
Children with active parents are less likely to be abused by school
personnel. Child predators try to avoid the kind of attention
involved parents bring.
6. Train your child to think. This
does not happen in traditional schools. They train your child to
pass tests. They train your child to conform. The school system
discourages differences and independence. Children with independent
spirits generally do not function well in school without involved
parents. Children who learn differently are often labeled and
neglected. They are punished or despirited by a system that mandates
uniformity and conformity.
7. Make certain your child's
educational needs are met. Be a squeaky wheel. School officials do
not expect you to be persistent. Call, write and visit daily if
necessary. If the system labels or harms your child, make them pay
for it. Seek legal counsel and take them to court. Charge them with
educational neglect, deprivation and malfeasance.
Conclusion
A tidal wave begins with a ripple.
You serve as a ripple in your child's life. Join with other ripples
(including committed and concerned school personnel) and make waves.
When parents, community and school personnel are on the same page,
working together, children thrive.
Bernard Gassaway is the former
principal of Beach Channel High School and senior superintendent of
alternative schools and programs for New York City and homeschool
father. August 2006 ©
COMMENTS/OPINIONS:
August 6, 2006
by Isabelle Zehnder
In my opinion, the last thing
parents need to do when it comes to their children is "mind
their own business". Schools and parents should work
together, parents should not entrust others to blindly do
whatever they want to their child - again in my opinion.
This is what has caused so many
problems with parents with troubled teens and children in
the past - including children who suffer from ADHD and other
conditions. They trust and believe someone on the other end
of a phone line (who they often find through the Internet)
who convinces them to have their children picked up from
their beds in the middle of the night - by strangers - and
taken to facilities hundreds or thousands of miles from home
- to be with people they've never met before. Oftentimes
this has resulted in children being abused, neglected - some
have died. We have heard from parents and children that
parents are discouraged from speaking with or seeing their
child for sometimes up to a year or more.
Then there are mental health
facilities where parents should be able to trust that their
child will be safe, as well. However, after reading
countless articles over the past few months I see that this
is far from the truth on many occasions.
Across the board, in my opinion,
the whole child industry needs reform.
The bottom line is they sell a
good program, but often what you get and what you pay for
are two very different things. And, it doesn't seem to
matter how much money is funneled for the care of children -
they can still be abused, neglected, and some still die in
the name of treatment.
___________________________
August 6, 2006
by Dee Alpert
In my opinion, nobody should ever
quote Bernard Gassaway, who was the principal of Beach Channel
High School. Last year there was a truly ferocious scandal re
Beach Channel in the NYS media. The NYS Dept. of Labor, after
complaints from the UFT re vile, filthy, unsanitary conditions
in a District 75 program at Beach Channel for severely disabled
children, started fining the NYC DOE $1,000 per week because the
NYC DOE didn't care enough to clean the place up and provide a
safe environment for staff or the students in this program. The
situation was, from media reports, long standing and severe.
The NYC DOE's infamous District 75
is a centrally operated, all sped. district for approx. 23,000
severely disabled kids. D. 75 has "sites" in many mainstream
buildings. The one at Beach Channel was for kids who, amongst
other things, needed diapering.
The principal of any regular school
building which has a D. 75 program sited in it has the clout to
do something about conditions which menace children's health.
Media reports noted that the reason the whole fuss began was
because a paraprofessional in that program claimed she had
caught hepatitis from a student there.
When many kids with developmental
disabilities were warehoused in institutions in the '70's, it
turned out that hepatitis was endemic in many of these
institutions, due in great part to filthy conditions. I found
it interesting when this scandal broke that not one person
reporting on the situation, and not one person quoted in any of
the articles, bothered to mention that the filthy and unsanitary
conditions which allowed this para to catch hepatitis from a
student (according to her litigation) also allowed all the other
students in this program to be exposed to, and perhaps infected
with, hepatitis.
The situation at Beach Channel had
apparently gone on for many years: the UFT complained to the
NYS Dept. of Labor after all other efforts to get this cleaned
up were unavailing. And the articles reported that NYS Dept. of
Labor fined the NYC DOE because repeated compliance efforts had
failed.
So my question is: "Where the hell
was Bernard Gassaway when severely disabled students in his
building were being "educated" or warehoused in filthy,
unsanitary and dangerous conditions, and exactly what did he do
to have the situation remediated?" There were no media reports
about "efforts of building administrators" to have anything
effective or useful done. Of course, the NYS Ed. Dept. did
nothing to protect these students, either.
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