'Tweens' are fast becoming the new
teens
By MARTHA IRVINE
AP National Writer
November 25, 2006
 Zach
Plante is close with his parents he plays baseball with them and,
on weekends, helps with work in the small vineyard they keep at
their northern California home.
Lately, though, his parents have
begun to notice subtle changes in their son. Among other things,
he's announced that he wants to grow his hair longer and sometimes
greets his father with "Yo, Dad!"
"Little comments will come out of
his mouth that have a bit of that teen swagger," says Tom Plante,
Zach's dad.
Thing is, Zach isn't a teen. He's
10 years old one part, a fun-loving fifth-grader who likes to
watch the Animal Planet network and play with his dog and pet gecko,
the other a soon-to-be middle schooler who wants an iPod.
In some ways, it's simply part of a
kid's natural journey toward independence. But child development
experts say that physical and behavioral changes that would have
been typical of teenagers decades ago are now common among "tweens"
kids ages 8 to 12.
Some of them are going on "dates"
and talking on their own cell phones. They listen to sexually
charged pop music, play mature-rated video games and spend time
gossiping on MySpace. And more girls are wearing makeup and clothing
that some consider beyond their years.
Zach is starting to notice it in
his friends, too, especially the way they treat their parents.
"A lot of kids can sometimes be
annoyed by their parents," he says. "If I'm playing with them at one
of their houses, then they kind of ignore their parents. If their
parents do them a favor, they might just say, 'OK,' but not notice
that much."
The shift that's turning tweens
into the new teens is complex and worrisome to parents and some
professionals who deal with children. They wonder if kids are
equipped to handle the thorny issues that come with the adolescent
world.
"I'm sure this isn't the first time
in history people have been talking about it. But I definitely feel
like these kids are growing up faster and I'm not sure it's always
a good thing," says Dr. Liz Alderman, an adolescent medicine
specialist at Montefiore Medical Center in New York City. She's been
in practice for 16 years and has noticed a gradual but undeniable
change in attitude in that time.
She and others who study and treat
children say the reasons it's happening are both physical and
social.
Several published studies have
found, for instance, that some tweens' bodies are developing faster,
with more girls starting menstruation in elementary school a
result doctors often attribute to improved nutrition and, in some
cases, obesity. While boys are still being studied, the findings
about girls have caused some endocrinologists to lower the limits of
early breast development to first or second grade.
Along with that, even young
children are having to deal with peer pressure and other societal
influences.
Beyond the drugs, sex and
rock'n'roll their boomer and Gen X parents navigated, technology and
consumerism have accelerated the pace of life, giving kids easy
access to influences that may or may not be parent-approved. Sex,
violence and foul language that used to be relegated to late-night
viewing and R-rated movies are expected fixtures in everyday TV.
And many tweens model what they
see, including common plot lines "where the kids are really running
the house, not the dysfunctional parents," says Plante, who in
addition to being Zach's dad is a psychology professor at Santa
Clara University in California's Silicon Valley.
He sees the results of all these
factors in his private practice frequently.
Kids look and dress older. They
struggle to process the images of sex, violence and adult humor,
even when their parents try to shield them. And sometimes, he says,
parents end up encouraging the behavior by failing to set limits
in essence, handing over power to their kids.
"You get this kind of perfect storm
of variables that would suggest that, yes, kids are becoming teens
at an earlier age," Plante says.
Natalie Wickstrom, a 10-year-old in
suburban Atlanta, says girls her age sometimes wear clothes that are
"a little inappropriate." She describes how one friend tied her
shirt to show her stomach and "liked to dance, like in rap videos."
Girls in her class also talk about
not only liking but "having relationships" with boys.
"There's no rules, no limitations
to what they can do," says Natalie, who's also in fifth grade.
Her mom, Billie Wickstrom, says the
teen-like behavior of her daughter's peers, influences her daughter
as does parents' willingness to allow it.
"Some parents make it hard on those
of us who are trying to hold their kids back a bit," she says.
So far, she and her husband have
resisted letting Natalie get her ears pierced, something many of her
friends have already done. Now Natalie is lobbying hard for a cell
phone and also wants an iPod.
"Sometimes I just think that maybe,
if I got one of these things, I could talk about what they talk
about," Natalie says of the kids she deems the "popular ones."
It's an age-old issue. Kids want to
fit in and younger kids want to be like older kids.
But as the limits have been pushed,
experts say the stakes also have gotten higher with parents and
tweens having to deal with very grown-up issues such as pregnancy
and sexually transmitted diseases. Earlier this year, that point hit
home when federal officials recommended a vaccine for HPV a common
STD that can lead to cervical cancer for girls as young as age 9.
"Physically, they're adults, but
cognitively, they're children," says Alderman, the physician in New
York. She's found that cultural influences have affected her own
children, too.
Earlier this year, her 12-year-old
son heard the popular pop song "Promiscuous" and asked her what the
word meant.
"I mean, it's OK to have that
conversation, but when it's constantly playing, it normalizes it,"
Alderman says.
She observes that parents sometimes
gravitate to one of two ill-advised extremes they're either
horrified by such questions from their kids, or they "revel" in the
teen-like behavior. As an example of the latter reaction, she notes
how some parents think it's cute when their daughters wear pants or
shorts with words such as "hottie" on the back.
"Believe me, I'm a very open-minded
person. But it promotes a certain way of thinking about girls and
their back sides," Alderman says. "A 12-year-old isn't sexy."
With grown-up influences coming
from so many different angles from peers to the Internet and TV
some parents say the trend is difficult to combat.
Claire Unterseher, a mother in
Chicago, says she only allows her children including an 8-year-old
son and 7-year-old daughter to watch public television.
And yet, already, they're coming
home from school asking to download songs she considers more
appropriate for teens.
"I think I bought my first Abba
single when I was 13 or 14 and here my 7-year-old wants me to
download Kelly Clarkson all the time," Unterseher says. "Why are
they so interested in all this adult stuff?"
Part of it, experts say, is
marketing and tweens are much-sought-after consumers.
Advertisers have found that,
increasingly, children and teens are influencing the buying
decisions in their households from cars to computers and family
vacations. According to 360 Youth, an umbrella organization for
various youth marketing groups, tweens represent $51 billion worth
of annual spending power on their own from gifts and allowance, and
also have a great deal of say about the additional $170 billion
spent directly on them each year.
Toymakers also have picked up on
tweens' interest in older themes and developed toy lines to meet the
demand from dolls known as Bratz to video games with more
violence.
Diane Levin, a professor of human
development and early childhood at Wheelock College in Boston, is
among those who've taken aim at toys deemed too violent or sexual.
"We've crossed a line. We can no
longer avoid it it's just so in our face," says Levin, author of
the upcoming book "So Sexy So Soon: The Sexualization of Childhood."
Earlier this year, she and others
from a group known as the Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood
successfully pressured toy maker Hasbro to drop plans for a line of
children's toys modeled after the singing group Pussycat Dolls.
Other parents, including Clyde Otis
III, are trying their own methods.
An attorney with a background in
music publishing, Otis has compiled a line of CDs called "Music
Talking" that includes classic oldies he believes are interesting to
tweens, but age appropriate. Artists include Aretha Franklin, Rose
Royce and Blessid Union of Souls.
"I don't want to be like a prude.
But some of the stuff out there, it's just out of control
sometimes," says Otis, a father of three from Maplewood, N.J.
"Beyonce singing about bouncing her
butt all over the place is a little much at least for an
8-year-old."
In the end, many parents find it
tricky to strike a balance between setting limits and allowing their
kids to be more independent.
Plante, in California, discovered
that a few weeks ago when he and Zach rode bikes to school, as the
two of them have done since the first day of kindergarten.
"You know, dad, you don't have to
bike to school with me anymore," Zach said.
Plante was taken aback.
"It was a poignant moment," he
says. "There was this notion of being embarrassed of having parents
be too close."
Since then, Zach has been riding by
himself a big step in his dad's mind.
"Of course, it is hard to let go,
but we all need to do so in various ways over time," Plante says,
"as long as we do it thoughtfully and lovingly, I suppose."
___
On the Net:
Campaign for a Commercial-Free
Childhood: http://www.commercialfreechildhood.org
Music Talking: http://musictalking.com/
___
Martha Irvine is a national writer
specializing in coverage of people in their 20s and younger. She can
be reached at mirvine(at)ap.org
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