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School Reform Site : Tough Love
Boot Camps-Putting Your Child in Danger
August 5, 2007
Kristen Houghton
BellaOnline's School Reform Editor
I was recently asked by a former
colleague if I would recommend a tough love boot camp for children
with behavior problems. After researching several of these camps, I
would definitely have serious reservations. Here’s why.
They came at four-thirty in the
morning, two burly men wearing cowboy hats. Crashing open the door
to James’ bedroom they grabbed him from his bed and threw him face
down on the floor, pulling his hands hard behind his back and
securing them with rough rope “handcuffs.” It was useless for him to
struggle because each man weighed well over 250 and both were
well-muscled. They dragged James from his room out to the front
door. A car was out front with the motor running ready for a
get-away.
Despite the early morning surprise
attack and the binding of the boy’s hands, this was no kidnapping.
It wasn’t even a crime. The boy’s mother knew the men were coming.
After having unlocked the front door for the men, she went to her
bedroom and stayed there hearing her son scream and beg her to
please help him. Under instructions from the men, she did not answer
or open her bedroom door. She knew what was taking place because she
had called a “tough love boot camp” to come and straighten out her
15 year-old son. She condoned the entire situation.
James begged them to unbind his
hands. They agreed to do so only when he understood that, if they
took off the handcuffs, he had to strip down to his underwear and
walk bare-footed to the car. That was the way James left his house,
was placed in a car, and driven to the airport to board a private
plane that would take him to the boot camp in Utah.
There seems to be a trend among
parents who feel they need outside help to “control” their own
children. The “tough love boot camps” advertised on the Web and in
certain magazines seem to be an answer. They take over the roles of
disciplinarian and moral leader that should be assigned to the
parents. It is perfectly legal in the United States of America for
parents to have their children taken to one of these camps, rough
handling and humiliation notwithstanding.
Educators should take note. Parents
are giving the names and school addresses of their children's
teachers to camp administrators. Teachers are then sent
"disciplinary problem" form letters asking them to identify "problem
behavior." Their letters are used as a statement of agreement that
the child has a behavioral problem. I would strongly advise teachers
not to fill out anything unless it is discussed with their principal
first. Any innocent assessment of a minor problem can be misquoted
or taken out of context to the detriment of the child.
One such camp was brought to my
attention by one of my readers, James’ uncle who is also a teacher.
He eventually found out that his nephew was unwillingly being held
at Storm Ridge Ranch in Utah. If you look this ranch up on the Web
you will be fooled into thinking that it is a vacation spot. If you
read between the lines you can see that it is not.
It bills itself as a “working ranch
for boys” and has a policy detailing a “treatment plan” that deals
with “bio-psycho-social” growth. Their boys, they say, are ones who
have behavioral problems. These problems range from drugs to
academic problems and are blamed on the “seeming decline in strong
family values and social conflicts. The boys are strictly monitored
all waking hours with frequent bed checks during the night. For all
intents and purposes it is a youth detention center. Rough
treatments and constraints are the norm in taking unwilling boys to
the ranch.
The humiliation of being handcuffed
or being forced to strip down to your underwear is appalling. Being
taken away from your home by force, with the knowledge that
struggling may bring rougher treatment, can be compared to Gestapo
tactics. Having “supervisors” watch your every move with no
communication with the outside world until you “prove yourself
worthy” is indeed the same as being imprisoned.
Unless the behavior problem is
severe, (drugs, violence), I am hesitant to recommend a tough love
boot camp. Here’s why. James was not a behavior problem. His
“problem” was that he was dyslexic and had never been diagnosed. His
mother was told that he was lazy and had no interest in school. She
took it as a sign of rebellion when he became angry and refused to
do schoolwork. He was angry because he had difficulty reading. Other
methods should have been used before having him taken in what is
essentially a commando raid.
Before subjecting your child to
this treatment exhaust every option available. With the best
intentions in the world, there is the danger of abuse of authority,
of brutal treatment at a tough love camp. In the best case scenario
it is still a form of imprisonment. You can label it what you will
but the words “tough” and “love” do not belong together.
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